Sometimes, all we get is 5 minutes here and 5 minutes there. I tend to feel that as soon as I get around to doing something nice, something positive, something just for me… the time is up. Therefore, I have promised myself to stop reaching for my phone, which is simply a bad habit I have gotten myself into. Instead, I am challenging myself to fill my time with things that will have a longer-lasting positive effect on my wellbeing- if I manage to stick to them.
Self-care doesn’t consist of a specific list of activities. It can mean doing things that are energizing, exciting, relaxing, distracting, educational- whatever it is you need at that moment. Something that is self-care to one can be torture to another, so I’ll spare you the generic list of cups of tea and manicures. You know who you are and what you need and if you don’t, that could be your first self-care activity.
Get to know your needs and boundaries and focus on what you can do to implement meaningful self-care into your daily routine. But for now, I’ll give you my list.
Tip #1 - Re-evaluate triggers
Re-evaluate the big stresses and triggers in my life, one at a time. I’ve done this in the past and ended up changing my daughter’s bedtime routine as it simply wasn’t working for anybody. Afterwards, it seemed daft that I didn’t do it sooner but sometimes we forget to just stop and check in with ourselves or look at the situation from a bystander’s point of view. By the way, it took me another 3 go’s to get the routine right.
My next challenge: Go easier on my very lovely & supportive but highly annoying partner. Not sure where to start yet. This brings me to my next point…
Tip #2 - Go easy on myself and others
Go easy on myself and others (particularly my partner). I want to let go of this feeling of having to do everything right and get everything done. I’ll try to accept a bit more mess in the house without it stressing me out. I by no means have a show home but I do like it tidy-ish. If I manage this, it should free up some more time for self-care and make me feel a little more relaxed in the long run. I’m going to limit my tidying to every evening and if I think someone is going to break their neck on all the toys, I will simply swipe them to one side as opposed to tidying them up all day long. I’m also going to limit the number of times I do the pots throughout the day. Finally, when my working-from-home partner is spilling his tea every step of the way back to his laptop, I will take a deep breath and remind myself that it can wait till the evening and that we can tidy up together. Wish me luck!
"When you can’t control what’s happening, challenge yourself to control how you respond to what’s happening. That’s where your power is." – Unknown
Tip #3 - Start the day with a plan
Start the day with 5 minutes of quiet time, to prepare for the day. I know, impossible if you have kids, especially if they are early risers. Grab a quiet moment and make a (mental) list of things to do that day, leaving the bigger or more complicated tasks for a separate day. I’m going to tick them off as the day goes on and accept the feeling of achievement without downplaying it. But here’s the catch, I’m going to be selective and only pick those that I’m certain I can fit in. Otherwise, I will start the day knowing I’m going to be chasing my tail, become stressed, and feel like I’ve failed before the day has even started.
Tip #4 - Limited screen time isn't just for kids
Try not to spend my time to myself on social media, google searches- especially Dr. Google, and the “how to be a better person, parent, or professional” blogs that secretly shame some of the things I do and leave me feeling worse.
Tip #5 - A mini social
Ring my bestie, even if it’s only for a 5 minute chat. Sometimes hearing her voice is all I need to perk up. And you’ll be surprised at how often it’s also exactly what they need.
Tip #6 - Find something that excites you
Learn something new, something I have always been curious about. I don’t aim to master it in 5 minutes, but it might be the start of something. I’m going to start this off by researching workshops. Just the thought of doing something new gets me in a better mood sometimes. I’ll make sure to post anything interesting on the website under Wellbeing.
Tip #7 - Do the shoulder dance
5 minutes of movement; a walk, a crazy dance to my favourite song, a completely amateuristic go at Tai Chi, yoga, or anything that involves moving my limbs. My special is the shoulder dance. Whether you're at home or out out, the shoulder dance will never let you down. I can be a bit self-conscious at times, but it also works well as a warm-up before your full body, crazy living room/on the bar/hanging from the chandelier dance.
Tip #8 - Prioritize my health & happiness
Personally, I feel much better, happier, and healthier when I go to the gym regularly, but I often end up skipping the gym to get other things done or be there for my kids, even though my partner can and has offered to do it instead. I know that if I put myself first for 1 hour, I’m a much better version of myself the rest of the day, yet I feel too guilty or cheeky or whatever other misplaced feeling I’m having that day. From now on I’m not going to overthink it and just go. If you've tried the gym and it's your idea of hell, try something else that will make you feel healthy. Maybe an exercise that won't feel like one- Bungee Fitness looks amazing! Or sign yourself up to learn a new dance? TikTok dance challenges and YouTube are always on hand to help.
Tip #9 - Go Out Out! Or join a book club- whatever floats your boat
I cancel on socials more than I would like- to the point I don't really have them anymore. My kids seem to have a radar for when I’m about to do anything other than dedicate myself entirely to them. I’m certain their magical powers extend to becoming extremely poorly on command. And they have made sure to set in stone very early on, that they will then only accept mummy. Many have told me to just go ahead with my plans anyway and that their dad is more than capable of looking after them. I’m sure they're right, but I just can’t seem to get myself to leave them. To anyone who does- good on you! You have set a boundary and there’s nothing wrong with that. As for me, I’m going to focus on rescheduling some previously cancelled socials. And from now on, I won’t cancel a social without rescheduling the replacement.
Tip #10 - Body reset & maintenance
Self-massage or trigger point therapy on myself. Yoga balls are great for this too (I will be putting some how-to videos on the website soon). I work on other people’s bodies for a living, it’s time I look after mine on a regular basis.
If you don't know how, are injured, or simply want the full works, get booked in! I will do a postural assessment and treatment which will ensure you feel better than you have in a while. And if you're having any trouble sleeping, my myofascial release techniques will definitely help.
In short...
Get started! Revamp your self-care routine or make a small change, whatever you can and want to do. But if you've read this, you must want something to change. Let me know in the comments if you have a self-care tip that works a treat and don't forget to get booked in for your treatment at home. Whether it's for injury rehabilitation or self-care reasons, I'm your girl.